Breaking Point

After one too many straws my camel's back finally broke today. All of the emotions of what has been going on at home and in the office came to rear it's ugly head this afternoon. My overwhelming emotions crippled me to the point of having to leave work early. An action that doesn't exist in my world.

Here's to a healing and relaxing evening of rest and a good glass of wine. Here, here.

Clinging To Sanity

Philippians 4:13 "I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me"

It takes a lot to remain sane. There are genetics that can be a big factor in what your later years have in store for you and there is the ultimate consequence for the choices you make through out your life. I am concerned that I may have both stacked against me.

When you care for a mentally ailing matriarch of your family it brings a lot of emotions and thoughts to light for yourself and the family surrounding you. Who will be the next one to "go crazy"? If we live our lives in a certain manner will it expedite the process? I'm convinced it most certainly will.

After living through this emotionally draining week I've come to the thought that if in all things you do your best to be a God-fearing, genuine and happy person that it will solidify your core personality. Be cheerful, selfless, humble, self-sacrificing, honest, kind, generous and loving in all things. For when we grow old (in mind, not body) the staples of our lives, the core personality traits and flaws will be without discretion any longer. You could possibly drive off the family that fights with you through so many personal battles.

Insane Crazy or just Crazy Insane?

What are the signs of losing one’s mind?
Am I experiencing them now?



My world has been flying by at a million miles a minute as of late. Going here, entertaining there, all while trying to be here. I am not omnipresent but some times it sure seems there are those that think I am. I've also been trying desperately to work on my patience with others. Especially with my outward expressions and responses. At the moment I feel that I may soon fail on that goal as I am ever nearing breaking point.

This is how alcoholics are made. Stressed beyond reason with the strong desire for a release. Not that I'm becoming one but it's never good to be so tightly wound that you are getting gnarly tension headaches, no sleeping, and looking forward to strong margaritas. Raise your glass to my mental health. Ha!

Great Video

Ben Stein talking about the value of having dogs in your life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmHmksXPnug

Rescue!

Tomorrow I will be participating with our puppy, Dartanian, and team mates by walking the 2 1/2 mile loop at Kit Carson Park in Escondido to benefit the Escondido Humane Society (EHS). I'm really excited to finally be a part of this important event! Please stop by my personal page for more information about why I am taking this mission to heart http://www.firstgiving.com/chicoman
There have been pretty extreme recent events that have brought this even closer to home now. My dog, Chico, has been deathly ill this week and we've nearly lost him twice. As a result I've reflected upon how much it has meant to me to have had him in my life for the 6 months that we have had him. A rescue animal is so much more rewarding in many ways. He has always been so willing to please and even more full of love for me and Brandon. As he is in the fight for his life I am even more motivated to ensure that more animals from the humane society are able to find an enriched life in a new home, not matter how long that situation may be.

Arson

Often we're told "don't burn any bridges".

So what do we do when the bridge is falling down? We repair it with twigs and toothpicks hoping it'll stay up just long enough to cross.

Why tip to across breakin eggshells when there is a very likely explosion to follow your crossing? Why not set the broken timber ablaze and move on to the next bridge?

Today, I am an Arsonist

Knitting amid the chaos

I'm pleased to report that I've set up a bi-weekly knit and crochet group at a wonderful little local coffee shop in San Marcos, Old California Coffee House & Eatery. This Thursday will be the second gathering. :)

Also, I've been whipping up some adorable baby booties to soon be given to my good friend who just had her first baby (a boy). After she's gotten several pairs of footwear for her young one I'll continue to play with color combinations and donate them to my local charity, Alternatives Women's Center. I'm sure they and the receiving moms along with their little ones will appreciate them. :)

Well I think my iPod may be charged enough to attempt to go to sleep now. I'll attempt to post again in the nearer future. Writing is good for the soul.

Coming Up For Air

Things have been just a little crazy since the year begun. Work has been extremely demanding which has resulted in a lot of overtime. It has also caused me to get out of a routine which has nearly turned my world upside down! AH! I'm slowly but surely grasping the reins again and hope to have things somewhat in order soon. It won't be fully sane until tax season is over though.



Thankfully I have had a few moments in between events and tasks to do a couple of small knit projects for none other than ME! Yay! I don't make many things for myself so it's been a lot of fun. I made my first complete archaicly basic sock. Then moved on to a wonderful Cookie A. Toe Up sock with a wonderful turning leaf pattern on the top of the foot and back of the leg. I'm making the first pair with worsted weight so they're larger and will only be used as house slippers for my cold toes. Much to my husband's delight :)



Another thing that's been good about the busyness is that I've been mentally distracted. Those that know what I'm talking about I owe a very big thank you to. You all have been beyond supportive and sweet and giving wonderful words of encouragment when it's hard to say the anything at all.

How do you?

How do you hide when you strongly dislike someone or a friend's taste in someone?

How do you tell someone that you have feelings for them when it's "complicated"?

How do you hide your depression?

First Post of 2009 (for me)

Honestly, I thought that my first post would've been New Year's Day but I was enjoying the laziness of the day that I just didn't get around to it.

2008 was one hell of a rollercoaster ride for me and my husband. It seemed like everytime we received good news, bad news news was just around the corner. And we had some WONDERFUL things happen! Especially toward the final four months. We got a kitten, our beach cruisers, "new" couch from my parents, a house, a Trip to Austin/Dallas (we want to go back to AUSTIN!) an adolecent kitten, my dog, then the surprise puppy for Brandon and at the very end of the year/begining of this year we were finally able to replace Brandon's car for a much more dignified piece of machinery. In that order, and I'm sure I'm missing a few things, were the highlights of 2008.

We went to some more weddings, heard about babies being born and there were even a few deaths. I'd have to think back hard to get the exact numbers on each of those life altering events.

I think the hardest personal blow for me (and my friends can attest to it) was a Dr's visit mid-year. Where I received some crushing news. I should've known it was coming because I was rediculously nervous going into the appointment and have never been nervous for a Dr's apt before. It was only magnified by the fact that Brandon was away on a business trip.

We also had far too much drama within our friend circle. All kinds of things going wrong, bad decisions being made and so forth. Some of it isn't gone yet but thankfully the majority is.

I look forward to 2009 being full of positives in my work life, my home life, family life, and friendship life. And I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying for the biggest miracle of all.